"No Blame, Shame, or Pain," says Dr. Jane Nelsen

courtesy of 123rf.com
courtesy of 123rf.com

I remember many times telling the boys how happy I was with their "A's", soccer or hockey goals and plays, among many other things.  I have always been competitive, and stressed achievement and success.  This got even more intense as college application time came.  What I wish I had done more of is sharing mistakes and thinking about what could be done differently.

Mistakes are wonderful opportunities for learning...share yours!

The way to begin is to share your own mistakes, and problem solve in front of your children, modeling the behavior you want them to learn.  They will soon be comfortable sharing their mistakes rather than hiding them, and you can work together to brainstorm solutions.  Another thing you can do is each share a mistake you made during the day at dinnertime, and also share what you learned from it.  This will help your child feel less stressed out and more open to discussion when they have made a mistake or a bad choice.

If you would like to learn more about the Positive Discipline model which helps build connections and relationships, and how to raise respectful, resourceful and responsible children, check out our upcoming introductory and 6-week class schedule at www.positivedisciplinewesternct.org.   .

Positive Discipline of Western CT inspires and promotes the development of life skills and respectful relationships in families, schools, and businesses in our local communities. We provide classes to parents, caregivers, educators and youth development workers to help strengthen relationships with children, encouraging them to be responsible, resourceful and self-reliant.

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