Well gang, baseball season is in full swing (pun INTENDED). And while MLB teams (plus the Mets and Red Sox) have begun their seasons, it will be awhile longer before some of the local minor league teams get their seasons under way.
I love minor league baseball. The tickets are cheap, it’s easier to park and it matters even less if your team wins. But the reason I really love minor league baseball is because of the team names. They are absolutely ridiculous. From the Lansing Lugnuts to the Fort Wayne Tin Caps to the Savannah Sand Gnats, these teams are more fun to talk about than they are to watch.
I love the region-specific nicknames and the far-flung, forgotten cities. Regional pride is a fading American tradition (along with baseball, some would argue), and I think it’s great to see baseball clubs honor their region or city. It’s also incredibly easy to do:
Step 1: Choose a small city or far-flung region, preferably one that no one would think of going to otherwise.
Step 2: Choose a major export, attraction or notable fact from that city or region.
Step 3: Combine the answer from Step 2 with any kind of animal. Literally any animal will do, it doesn’t matter.
Here are some examples:
The Boise Potato Hens.
The Sheboygan Cheese Monkeys.
The New Hampshire Granite Manatees.
The Hawaii Coffee Dolphins.
The Lancaster Amish Ducks.
The Kentucky Bourbon Snakes.
The Newport News Tobacco Cats.
The Pensacola Swamp Wolves.
The SLC Mormon Squirrels.
The New Mexico Hot Air Ballon Crickets.
The Montana No Speed Limit Tigers.
The Canton Football Hall of Fame Owls.
I’d be proud to call any of these teams my hometown club. Especially the Hawaii Coffee Dolphins, although that might just be because I want to live in Hawaii.
The Lake Hounds?