Not too long ago, I was a HACK VIRGIN. Recently, while trying to access my email, I found that everyone (including potential employers and other people that I was hoping to impress) had been sent a disturbing letter that I had NOT written. Appalled, needless to say, I handled this in a mature fashion. First, I panicked. Then, I burst into tears. Finally, I fought an urge to go back to bed.
I know very little about the innards of this machine before which I sit...know nothing about 'tool bars' or 'installations' or 'cookies' or the like. I can email, check Face Book and research most topics, yet I'm pretty clueless as to how I perform those functions. In a nutshell, I hate this electronic gizmo. Fantasizing that I throw it out of the window and then crush it with my 14 year old Honda (great vehicle, huh?), I smile and momentarily feel gleeful. Unfortunately, one seems to have to have one of these...after all, what would you answer when asked your email address? " I have no computer. I'm illiterate and out of step with the times. I'm a loser."
I called AT&T and after confirming private and personal information , and after Fed Exing them a hair follicle from my my first born, I was connected to a person. That person transferred me 3 times and then I was disconnected. Calling back, I was told to call the Yahoo hotline. Again, I gave out personal information got transferred 3 times and was disconnected. An hour later, I spoke with another person who gave me another phone number. This call was to an organization that could help...for a one time fee of forty-nine dollars. I hung up and went to bed. Later, after an overdose of chocolate, I tried again. The Lord then blessed me and connected me with Jessica. She patiently, competently and kindly took me step, by baby step, through the process. I asked her the most ignorant questions and I'm sure she wasn't thrilled about her chosen line of work when it took me 5 minutes to find an icon. Assuming that all was resolved, we tried my inbox only to find that somewhere along the line I had made a mistake. So, we went through the process again. One-hundred, forty-seven minutes later, all was well. I spoke to Jessica's supervisor and told him that she is an angel.
I guess I'm a big girl now, and praying that no conception takes place. Tee Hee.
