I'm an 'empty-Nester.' My son is off doing what a healthy, well intentioned man can do. And that leaves me, at times, reminiscing. My role as mom hasn't ended, however it certainly has changed.
I don't believe there are perfect parents or people who can parent perfectly. Am I saying this to relieve my heartache when I recall all the times that I blew it? Losing control of my emotions when he behaved like a child- he was a child. Asking ridiculous questions,..."Were you raised in a barn?" Worst of all, repeating the statements I had heard, and hated, from my mom.
On a scale of one to ten, where do I fit? Definitely not a one or a ten. I suppose I had periods where I did well. Periods that hopefully balanced, a bit, those days where I behaved like the creepy monster under his bed. Someday I may hear him lament, "Eat your vegetables or you can't leave the table." Or maybe he was guided in a manner where the cycle will be broken and he'll bite his tongue.
Oh I do miss his childhood, even those tween days. I miss the mud and the slamming doors and the lost jackets. I miss Happy Meals, beach buckets and hamsters. How does that saying go...? "If you love something, set it free?" There are holidays and other reasons to travel back and forth. Unfortunately, July 4th isn't one on our calender. However, he and his wife are buying their first home, and there will be room for me to visit.
"Hey, are you REALLY going to keep those crummy sneakers, Pal?"
