When I was new and beautiful what a joy I was to see
My owner took such care but wait till you hear what happened to me
The "first" year I was filled with perfume, lipstick and money
When you looked inside it made you feel warm and so comfy
The "second" year after baby came, I was filled with such alarm
What's this a rattle, jar of food, was I in some great harm
And then a few years later I almost nearly died
Two pairs of glasses, lots of pills so neatly side by side
I'm getting old and so is she, it's obvious to see
Arthritis pills, mineral ice, oh what has happened to me...