Telling kids what to do works, so why change?

 It is also far easier and faster to tell our kids what to do instead of asking them.  I know I was always rushing around, needing to hurry the kids through the morning routine, to get them out the door to make the bus.  

 Go brush your teeth.

Hurry up and get dressed or you'll miss the bus.

Don't forget your coat.

Do your homework.

Stop fighting with your brother.

Put your dishes in the dishwasher.

Pick up your toys.

Go to bed.

Sound familiar?  Why should you change?

 To start with, I'll bet you have to tell your kids the same thing over and over again.  They never learn.  Why do they need to?  You are telling them what they need to do.  They don't think for themselves.  And, my guess is they don't feel pretty small and incompetent as you tell them these things again and again.

 We want to raise self-reliant, confident children.  How is telling them what to do helping them to develop these skills?  It's not.  They will learn a lot more from asking them, and being respected to take responsibility over their actions. 

 What do you need to do so your teeth won't feel scuzzy?

What is your plan for catching the bus on time?

What are you taking so you won't be cold outside?

What is your plan for doing your homework?

How can you and your brother solve this problem?

What did we decide to do with our dishes when we have finished eating?

What is your responsibility when you are finished playing with your toys?

What is next in your bedtime routine chart?

The time to make these changes isn't in the morning, when you are all rushing around.  Take the time with your child to come up with a routine chart, to talk about their plan to catch the bus, etc.  And remember, change doesn't happen overnight.  Not for you, not for your child. 

 This is one of the many tools you can learn with Parenting the Positive Discipline Way.  If you would like to learn more, check out our fall class schedule at www.positivedisciplinewesternct.org.