I know Tanya personally. She has worked so very hard to overcome obstacles and struggles in her life. She is a delightful woman who has emerged out of the darkness that so many face. I recall her living in her car and the heartbreak I felt for her. She broke free of an unhealthy relationship, impoverished, homeless and lost. She has changed the course of her life. She is a loving, dedicated mother who is working hard to build a career for herself and her family. I commend Tanya for believing in herself when her world seemed dismal. Her world is now bright, full of love. I continue to wish Tanya a beautiful and even brighter future.

What a touching story! I wish Tanya much success in her future.

I would also like to add that I admire Tanya for making the very loving, responsible choice to give up CJ for adoption. Her realism of her struggles at the time and her wanting more for her son is commendable. It is never an easy choice to give up a child for adoption. Tanya wanted a good life for her son, a life she knew she could'nt give at that time. She unselfishing wanted him to have a life of love with caring parents that could give him what she was unable to. Tanya is a great Mom, even greater for making a loving choice.
As an adult woman with an adopted teenage sister....I know my sister's life is full of love, support, patience and kindness. God only knows what my sister's life would have been like if my parents didn't adopt her and open their hearts and home to her.
Adoption is a great option. There are many loving homes who would to welcome a child into their hearts. Whether straight, gay, bisexual, multi-ethnic it just doesn't matter. Adoption is love.

God bless Tanya and the women like her who make the selfless choice to give their children a better life. They are hardly "giving up" their children; they are giving them a better life. I can't think of any more difficult decision. As the mom of two boys who joined our family through adoption, I am grateful to ladies like Tanya. My sons birthmoms have blessed me with children after my long struggle with infertility and miscarriages.

Tanya stepped up to the plate and continues to become more educated - which is her job as a citizen of the United States. We are all supposed to become positive contributors to society - not just siphon money and benefits from taxpayers. Use of a condom would have prevented the taxpayers from having to foot the bill for her rent, food, schooling, books, clothes, and another child. I'm sure they are free in shelters - it wouldn't even have cost anything for her to be responsible for her actions - didn't she learn anything from having to give up her child?

JMS63...Karma has the interesting way of coming around to those who stand in harsh judgement of others to give them a chance to experience first hand the suffering and circumstance for better understanding...you also forgot to be grateful that your mother chose life for you. (I don't see how your comments are in any way a positive contribution to society; perhaps you could use a lesson in good old Christian charity?)

God bless you Tanya for having courage, sharing your story and never giving up!

Touching story, but how can this be the top news story in a city of over 75,000 people? Patch is slipping...

Indeed, there are many issues here that can easily be shot-down and scrutinized. However...
At least Tanya did not abort the baby. Adoption beats abortion every single time.

And to JMS63, I would say that I will gladly pay taxes to make sure the Tanyas of my State have a chance. And I'm one of those evil TEA Party folks. Tanya is a success story, in my opinion. That says it all.

uhhmmm, She gives up one child for adoption and then gets pregnant again 2 years later and keeps that one. It seems to me like her life was the same if not worse than when she gave up the 1st child. I'm sorry but I don't see that as a success story. What is the lesson learned there. going to have to agree with JMS63
And also with Observer how is that in the news section?

Tanya you are a brave woman of great substance who has overcome much tragedy. Those who judge so harshly are usually people who have lived an unscathed life devoid of any huge catastrophic events. I have found that mostly younger people are quick to judge. Many have never experienced real clinical depression or a mental breakdown that is why they tend to judge others so harshly. The important thing is that Tanya did not choose to abort her child thereby giving CJ a chance to grow up and know God. God bless you Tanya. This was the most news worthy story I have read in a very long time.

There are some truly wonderful, caring and supportive comments on here. Its great to share kindness alike.
However, there are few heartless people who hide behind annonymous tag names who completely lack emapthy and humanity. Not everyone has a perfect life in this perfect bubble of Brookfield. People endure heartache and struggles. Its something to celebrate when someone digs themselves out of the dark trenches of life. Not only working hard for a better future but also giving the gift of parenthood to the adoptive parents. How dare you judge someone who was homeless and has worked to make a better life! Furthermore, to the whiny coward who is complaining about this not being news--shame on you! Get a life! The news in general sensationalizes negative stories everyday...all day long. Its refreshing to hear of a personal story with a happy ending.
Again...thanks to the generous and kind people who share humanity so graciously.

Why do people support this? I mean, I can't imagine having to give up a child, that in and of itself is traumatic enough, I pray for her..but 2 years isn't enough time to turn one's life around. Why subject another child to this lifestyle? This woman can't seem to get along with her own family. Her mother, grandmother, aunt...why is it so difficult for her to live with kin that should otherwise be an easy scenario? Seems like nothing has been learned or realized here.

Everyone has been a teenager, and everyone has made mistakes. Tanya's daughter is five years old, and couldn't be a happier or more loved child. Tanya's mother babysits her granddaughter, and they all get along now.

I am very disappointed in the negative comments and lack of support for the family. If this is not the news you want then skip it and move on. Tanya made the best possible decision given her situations. In two years she was also more mature and had more faith that she could rise to the challenge of raising a child. All three of my daughters are adopted, closed adoptions. I can not imagine how a mom could surrender three such dolls. I hope they all find their birth moms some day in their lives so their birth moms can see how they have turned out . It has to be the hardest decision to make, I can not imagine a harder decision. God Bless Tanya.

To many people take the easy way out by victimizing the baby. God bless you Tanya! Thank you for choosing life.

thank you to all

Nice story. People need to stop being so judgemental. Good luck to ms.parker and her children. God bless .

I applaud Tanya for being brave enough to tell her story. But I have mixed feelings about this article. I hope that teenagers will read this and learn from it. Abstinence and birth control are important issues to discuss if you are having sex.

It's hard not to be judgmental due to a persons own experiences themselves or ones around them. I pray Tanya sticks to the road she is on (higher education, loving her daughter & hope she habitually keeps in contact with her son) and stays away from any man who will not help her and admit responsibility for a child. Tanya's story is far from being over, and I can relate to some of the negative comments a few people posted yet I wish her much hope in her life that she can overcome many more obstacles... I raised two children on my own, invested all my love and might in them and I made damn sure they became self sufficient citizens in our society (pretty much so - one receives partial assistance for daycare while she works!!!) My other daughter earns $40,000 a year -she works overtime and whatever odd jobs she can work... Kudos to young people who actually get ahead in life despite their dysfunctional upbringing/lifestyles!!!

The wackiest thing about this for me is that we have the same name and are the same age! LOL

The woman can't even put a sentence together in the comments...and she's a success story? She demonstrates absolutely no comprehension of punctuation or grammar...how did she get into any college?

It is unfortunate when people such as Observer feel it is there right to condemn another. How dare you take the holier than thou mentality. You have obviously lived a privileged life without pain or despair. For this I pity you.
This young women has opened her life to us. No one has the right to judge her. Tanya keep on the high road, care for your children and yourself. Those that matter are taking notice of how hard you are working through this difficult time. I for one am very proud of you and the fact that you have shared your story with us.

I guess it is because I live by the golden rule "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" that I just assume everyone cares about others.
But since reading the various posts on Patch I have learned that there are too many heartless, self centered, judgmental and special people (at least in their own minds) and that is sad. Shame on any and all who feel superior to another. There will come a day when you to will be judged and may God bless you then.

i just whated to say this is the real tanya parker and i can spell thank you very much
and also just whated to say thank you very much for reading and i am very happy that i have told my story and that i am in touch and also get pictures of him and i am willing to send him things for his bday as well as x-mas also
so again thank you very much

Let's just agree that this article may be appropriate for a "feel good" women's magazine or a self-help workshop - not a news website. The title, however, is misleading. These women were NOT forced into adoption - they chose to have unprotected sex when they had no means to support themselves. If Tanya keeps up with her education AND now gets a job since her mother can babysit, then she will be fulfilling her responsibilites as a contributing member of society. For the love of god -Tanya, start using spellcheck when you publish writing for others to read. Even elementary school students know that you always capitalize "I" when you are writing about yourself. Good grief.

For the love of God JMS63 and Observer grow a heart. You may know how to spell but that does not make you a better human being. I do not think that God or any higher power you may believe in cares if Tanya can spell. Two more cowards who hide behind fake names. It may be that Tanya has contributed more to society in many more ways than you know but if you measure a contribution by how much money one earns then I guess you fall short of Bill Gates and if you measure your IQ in relation to Tanya's spelling errors than I guess you fall short of comparing yourself to Einstein or Physicist Stephen Hawking.

Christmas is coming I suggest that JMS63 and Observer read the Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens or the Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge you may have a change of heart.

oops I spelled then as than. I better hang my head in shame.

Tanya I would like to say one last thing to you. Never be sorry that you told your story. Never look too far back at your mistakes and never feel afraid of the future. Do not give in to feeling sad and learn from your mistakes. If you fall on your face pick yourself up again. Take care of your body and your mind. Live in the moment, enjoy your children and be happy they are well and in this world. When I retire next year I want to be an advocate for people who are poor in spirit because of the "slings and arrows of life". I have faced three huge life changing events in my life and learned the hard way how the quality and tranquility of ones life can change in a few seconds even if you are perfect and do all the "right" things. God Bless and be well. Kathy Johnson

There is a difference between falling on hard times and making stupid choices and expecting others to not only pay your way but pat you on the back for finally coming around and taking responsibility. Let's choose to move on and drop the sarcasm - which doesn't help anyone - just shows how immature you are - and it is appropriate that you hang your head in shame - at least you went back and reviewed your work!! Good job!!!!

If you have nothing good to say don't say anything at all. Unless of course you use a bogus name on Patch to criticize others, nice going.

Well said, Mr. Patti! I completely agree!

I asked a young man "How are you doing?" He told me that he had personal problems but he couldn't discuss them since they were, after all, "personal" This young man has autisim yet he shared one of the greatest blessings with me; that of wisdom. God Bless the wisemen and the wisdom they bistow on all of us.

Did these women not have a choice to not get pregnant in the first place?

No one can do anything wrong by you religious nuts. I'm a church going man myself but I'm also big on accountability. If you can't take care of a child, wait until you have children. It's incredibly selfish to have a child and not be able to provide for it.

JMS63 & the other no-name elitists: Accountability and responsibility are important and need to be encouraged, but outside of you perfect atheists, people are human and make mistakes. Fortunately, Tanya made a good decision, tough decision to choose life over an easy way out. If you read the article you will see that Tanya has taken many steps to improve her life and that of her child's. Instead of criticizing her, we should be congratulating her and encouraging others who have made poor choices in the past to learn from their mistakes and make better decisions in the future.

Some of you are really thick-headed. I don't care that she can't spell - I'm just curious how it landed her in an institution of higher learning. But, like JMS pointed out, my real concern is that this is a story that belongs in a women's magazine or something - definitely not a newspaper (which I thought Patch was supposed to be). That's the way most of Christine's articles read; I'm not sure why Patch continues to pay her for meaningless cream puff stories like this. Don't get me wrong, they're sometimes interesting and usually well-written, but I'd much rather get some news. Back to newstimes.com.

It would be so much better if you identified yourself, Observer. For one thing, the News Times also does feature stories and profiles, and for another, you may well work for them. Thank you for so consistently reading my stories. I am honored.

I am not a church going religious person. Although I was raised with values and compassion that were taught by a good family.
This young lady opens her life to us not looking for acceptance or approval but to show that she is trying to turn her life around. Perhaps her story will help another young person.
To all of you heartless, preaching, self-centered and arrogant people, I hope you or a family member never fall on hard times. If you do I hope you find someone who will forgive you for your life's errors. Condemning another is not a good way to live. People are being way too mean and it is not fair, necessary or acceptable. These same people should keep there closets locked so their skeletons do not fall out.
Patch I believe it is time to shut this forum down to prevent further indignation.

Success story? I think not. Dating at 13? Perhaps that's why she didn't get along with her mother. Compassion? - if you use your talents and abilities and stop blaming circumstances and hard times. If you are born with a disability such as autism, and you do your best, that is commendable.

I agree shut it down.

This topic has really generated a lot of comments that have gone well beyond the scope of the story, although related and relevant. We like to encourage people to give their opinions on topics and I think we can all agree that there are many different ones when it comes to what is being discussed. Sometimes the most convincing arguments are the simplest ones that are free from personal attacks.

Observer, please feel free to email Mark Langlois directly at mark.langlois@patch.com or me directly hoa@patch.com if you have any suggestions or concerns about what is presented here. I work for the Newtown site but we work collaboratively in this region and I can refer your inquiry to others at Patch if necessary. Thanks.

BRAVO!O

Hoa, thank you for addressing me, but I don't need to e-mail you my concerns...I've made them clear VERY often on this site, on this article and others, and have not heard ANYTHING back from a Patch editor until now. Want my concerns in a nutshell? WHERE IS THE NEWS? This is a city of 80,000+ people. There are at least three high schools in this city AND a university. To habitually run feature stories and "feel-good" pieces that, as JMS pointed out, would be better suited for a magazine-style publication as the top news stories in this city is deplorable, and a sorry excuse for community news. Where is the town government coverage? What about entertainment in and around the city? What about continuous coverage in our schools (Christine's series on overcrowding was FANTASTIC)? What about athletics in both the high schools and the university?

I don't need to point any further than this past week to prove my point: a BODY is found in Downtown Danbury, and Patch doesn't actually produce any content, but just links to The News Times' website. I guess they figured they'd let the real newspaper take care of the real news from here on out. It's a shame, because Patch truly has the capability to bring community journalism to the next level.

some of you people need help.... observer noticed i used ....oh and this time without a space. This is under the heading of "The Neighborhood Files" not "Breaking News"

I do agree with some prior posts that some citizens in our society need to bear more responsibility with whatever choices/mistakes they make in life instead of depending on taxpayers handouts. While raising my kids as a single parent, I worked two jobs to pay the bills, lived in a one bedroom (kids had the bedroom, I slept in livingroom) had no amenities i.e. cable TV (I bought used VHS tapes for the girls to watch) and got free videos from the library etc. I ended up working for the woman who owned the daycare where my kids went (part time to help pay off the daycare bill). I used hand me down clothes from my sister in laws and also went shopping at thrift shops....I persevered in court for child support and even had my ex put in jail for nonpayment of child support!!! Tanya, I pray that you continue to work on your issues (dealing with a deadbeat father of the children) and work on any issues derived from being raised in a dysfunctional household so you don't end up passing on major issues to your children... I am far from perfect and will always be working to better myself and enrich my grandchildrens lives...

OK, first of all there are two sides to ever story. I dont care who writes something about you in some unknow paper. Lets start with some fact. Jimmy, Merissa's father has been calling for months trying to see his daughter. Time after time she has shot him down. Not only that but Jimmy's family has also tried to get in contact with her and they have heard nothing. So were are people to come off saying how horrible jimmy is when tanya is the monster that wont let her own daughter see her father and her grand parents.
Second, lets add up all the things tanya has been giving. Jimmys parents gave tanya buick-park ave in excellent condition and she no longer has it. They have bought merissa tons of clothes and toys, and have giving tanya expensive washers, dryers, dishes, and money for storage rooms and such.
Or how about myself. I lived in a homeless shelter, and my newborn baby died due to birth deffects....does that mean i get a story in the danbury patch too??? I now work as a single mom with two kids, making $1200 a week. Were is my acknowledgement?!?!? Does that mean i get a story in the danbury patch too??
There is alot about this women that people do not know. How about the sad fact that Tanya dated a sexual affender for months. Does this not concern the public?? Or are we all going to turn our heads because she gave a child up for adpotion?? Tanya is a sad excuse for a "poster child" to represent mothers giving up their childern.

(Continue)
Were was "patty" in all this?? Isnt she tanya's "parent"? I would do everything I could to make sure that my child would never have to face such a self-less action again. Instead she just steps aside and lets this happen!?

I 100% agree. Tax payers are now paying tanya to sit home on a computer and "play school". If Jimmy stopped paying the rent, then why didnt tanya go out and get a job?? There are tons of families out in the work today were both adults work full time jobs to support the things they need in life.

Jimmy, merissa's father works a full time job and then goes to school at night to futher his life. Inbetween he still finds time to be a family man.

Tanya has done nothing but take from people and leach off people who want to help her. I congratulate the people who have done self-less acts for others. And i only hope people who end up meeting Parker from today on to caution themselves, because you will be used.

I am dissapointed in this article. Yes, giving up your child Tanya was hard I am sure but if you had no money then and you have no money now why does it make it better to have kept Merissa? You have not had a job in how long and where are you living and when you ex Jim was working and attempting to pay the bills what were you doing? If this is meant to be a sad story then ok yeah your life is sad. I applaud you for going to school. But for 8 years since CJ was born did you ever stop to think that you needed to be an independent women and provide for yourself rather than use others to provide for you. And this whole the father doesn't want anything to do with his children I highly doubt that as I am sure anyone could call the danbury children's court system and find out that there are letters filled for Jim to have rights to his daughter? I highly doubt the court system would lie! You put yourself in this pickle and I don't commend you for becoming public with your so called "rough life" as you TANYA PARKER cannot blame anyone else for a tough life other than yourself. You have done well with going to school but I will only show excitement when you have followed through with this and are no longer using my hard earned tax money to survive!

Yes, the facts certainly shed much needed persepective on this situation -all you bleeding hearts can write your checks directly to Tanya so she can suck you dry...I work hard for my money and refuse to let it be squandererd by unemployed slugs like this one without putting up a fight.

Is this story meant to give all the other unwed, uneducated idiots dating bad men hope for the future? WHY DON'T THESE WOMEN EVER LEARN? It makes me sick. As an educated woman I feel sick when I read about stupid women making bad choices again and again. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and stop throwing pitty parties when you mess up. LEARN TO MAKE GOOD CHOICES and stop draining our economy. NO MORE "Oh well" crap.

Wow, some people are so harsh and judgmental. It is harder to give up a child so he can have a better life than to keep him.You did what was best for him Tanya and I applaud you.